Is my behavior toward my mother normal?

I've hated my mother ever since I was 6 because when I was little she found it fun to hit me when I was alone at home. She would find pleasure it hitting my fingers, twisting my little arms, and making me eat extremely little food. She never let me out of the house and her only good combacks for being a good mother is giving me food and taking me to school. I don't love my mother at all and I'm 15. I told CPS this story but they didn't do ****. In the long run, I'm waiting for my mother to die....quickly....I've been trying to get her to eat more ice-cream, high colestrol foods, I've been hiding exercise equipment and blocking pages on yahoo such as the health sections. I really don't want her to have a long life at all. She complete destroyed my childhood. The reason I'm skinny now is becuease my diet was so poor when I was a kid. Is this behavior normal? To hate your mother so much that your just waiting her to die? Please help me? I don't want to be a killer or anyhting, I just want her out off my life.